i am who i am!

i just gotta get this clear.
to all you fools out there and i mean EVERYONE.
i am who i am... whatever i do, whatever i say or whatever i believe in.
dun undermine that to suit ur liking.

i may be nice or annoying; i may be caring or not; i may be friendly or anti-social but ultimately i am who i am.
do not compare me with someone else. i am not a cheap copy of someone else and i will never be.
we may be similar in the things we believe/act/talk, he/she might even be better at some things than me but i set my own trends, i walk my own road and i definitely DO NOT follow him/her.

join me if you will on my road and walk with me.
but bear in mind, this is me that you are talking about.
so stop being locked up in that tiny little world of yours and accept me and my actions for who i am. stop with the conscious/unconscious comparision. =.=

@sis: yeah comparisions sucks
not just from family. from peers and society.
some people just think they are beyond reach and that they are god's gift to the world and that we are trash.
this is wat i have to say.
FUCK YOU BITCHES. take a look in the mirror. look at your ugly face and ur ugly soul... for all of us we are all still going to HELL even though you think you are damn good/nice/popular. the irony.

disappointment

1st order of business: I ALTERED MY UNIFORM~!

this week/weekend has been a journey around the peaks of hell and heaven.
the feeling of ecstacy and depression conjoined as one pumps through my veins.

i saw this shiny half silver crocodile-looking skin converse jack prucell shoes (if i'm not wrong)
and its soooo nice~!
whenever did i become a bum for material goods i have no idea...
yet the desire still exists.

confusion and desire clouds my inner sanctum.
desperation starts to border my temple.

think i disappointed marcus wu when i didnt go study with them.
even worst was when i went to alter my uniform with maisha on sunday, we bumped into him~!
and i was wearing my newly altered uniform...
guess he thot i blew him off...
sorry man. i really got home late on sat so didnt go out study.

solace i seek.
despair i get.
judge me not by my actions but by the motives that drives those actions.
sorry everyone.

thanks maisha for bringing me to alter my uniform and crapping arnd with me~ =)
was great though i still thought u shld have bought those horny shoes~! LOL

i hope there be no misunderstandings or quarrels between all my friends.
hope all of my friends may be blessed with fortune of being able to get along with each other, for i will be the bridge.
the joys and horrors of being neutral.

glimpse of the past few days

sunday

went escape in the afternoon with okinawa-ians and had dinner with the babes at sakura international. wanted to ton but haiz...=.=
have pictures that i will upload some other time.



monday

was excited cos i finally went out with her. though it wasnt a date or anything i was quite happy~=)
though there were times that i felt like i was being treated like a ignorant piece in a game of chess...my heart hurts, but i shall wait for her to trust me better and hopefully start being more open and accepting towards me.
overall it was a great day~=)
thank you 172.



tuesday

short term memory... cant rmb anything abt tuesday~ =.=



wednesday

today had ex-class gathering at my ex-teacher's house.
wat a ex day it was.
not that close to them so it was just a so-so event.
nice to meet them again though =)
was encouraged to study harder and get better results. thanks guys.
nice of my teacher to make pizza and entertain us~ =)

wanted to meet 172 but she did not want to.
172 was suffering from dizzy spells and i was worried.
hope she feels better and guess she aint that open to me yet. *sigh*

the flame is just irresistible

u are my flame...i probably get hurt if i fly too close...but it is a risk i am willing to take =)

i daresay that you are the most challenging.
i have never gotten hurt so many times before anything begins...
but i will continue trying, hoping that u will choose me over him...
i just hope for a fair chance and truth between us...

i like you.

i am the moth to the flame

fool~!
thats what i get when my friends heard abt it.

just move on man, just move on, its not like something has already blossomed.
would u like to be made use of~?
interesting...

i know that some of the things that u told me are false.
but hey i am just a dumb moth to the flame.

confessions of a confused heart

i like you... alot.
yet u doubt me.
my heart aches to love.
yet my mind tells me to wise up.

i confessed.
yet you left me clouded.
past experiences told me to give up.
yet my emotions told me to perservere.

u walk past me and my heart starts beating.
a flick of ur hair and my nose starts tingling.
a smile from you gives me a rush.
a life with you is all i can ask for.

perhaps it was infatuation.
perhaps it was the hormones raging.
perhaps i have been lonely for too long.
yet all i want is to give things a try.

but alas, there is someone else for you.
over the seas and above others.
stealing your heart from plain sight.
as i stood, crying.

u walk past me and my heart starts beating.
a flick of ur hair and my nose starts tingling.
a smile from you gives me a rush.
a life with you is all i can ask for.

so tell me now.
and tell me straight.
do i stand a chance against the titan.
or have i been fighting a losing battle?

like a fool i must have looked.
silly as can be in your eyes.
yet wat i hope,
is not to be entangled in a web of lies.

u walk past me and my heart starts beating.
a flick of ur hair and my nose starts tingling.
a smile from you gives me a rush.
a life with you is all i can ask for.

holding true to wat i believe,
that you are the one who might set me free.
struggling to keep it all sane,
as i watch other guys get close to you.

this seems so much like a fairytale,
for it is all so surreal.
and so i hope with all my heart,
that this may be a happily ever after...

and u just walked past me...

wat a day it was on saturday~
kinda slow in updating cos there are like so many things happening.

like i promised i shall update abt double O
went with cindy and steffie to double O to meet their friends and all~
was really last min so i just grabbed and ran with whatever clothes i had.

who knew first person i saw there was --.
but silly -- didnt recognise me and ignored me~=.=

anyhow, was rather taken aback that it was retro night/mambo.
have not tried their mambo before and was pleasantly surprised~!
crazy cindy got slightly light headed after drinking and we had to stop her from destroying the world~!

partied all the way and came out to see -- outside...walking past me even after i sms -- that i was there and to look out for me~ =.=

pikchures~!

distraction.

i have to type this to distract myself from what i am feeling.
bought a bag today.
thanks maisha and atiqah for accompanying me~

retail therapy did not really work this time round...
still feeling down and out.

though i am quite glad i bought the bag.
its a haversack...a glittery kind...shiiny...

shall blog abt double O, which i went on saturday, some other time...

p.s..need a new blog template... anyone wants to offer some help?

i like you but you like someone else~

the life of a flirt? or not. definitely not.

alright

shall start with the introduction of two of our gorgeous girls today.




on the left is the pretty j and on the right is the gorgeous yx~
their names are censored for privacy~ LOL

if my memory doesnt fail me, it was last week saturday or something.
had been tempted beyond measure to go clubbing for quite some time now.
the chance finally came on that very saturday~=D

as usual i was late and all.
feeling ridiculous in my huge sweater looking thing wondering if it was the right to wear after all~?

met up and went club hunting.
decided on rebel and wtf alot of army guys that night...=.=
a whole bunch of totem poles that stood there ON THE DANCE FLOOR filling space. =.=
at least boogie~! but noooo, have to stand there and sms...=.=
retarded much?

was feeling sick and guess i was too shy~? so didnt make it crazy enough~=(
j as usual seems to always have a bone to pick with me.
yx on the other hand was charming as usual~ =)

who knew, saw bealson there with his guy friends at the toilet...=.=
bealson wanted to see the girls i was with so he INSISTED on waiting with me...
never really mixed with bealson and suddenly he is like so "close".
the impact of the mention of girls on guys is still remarkable regardless how many times i see/experience it.


remember i said i was feeling sick~? yeah... thats why beer and not hard liquor~=.=
damn...




the devil~!

drinking session with the girls

re re re -wind.
back to the start of our session on friday.
rushed over. as usual. late.
habit~*shrugs*

had dinner at BK central and walked to clarke quay with the 2 gorgeous girls by my side.
decided to have a shot at clinic.
of late i have realised that my command of english has dropped drastically. guess thats a problem for next time. random.

so the 3 groovy and hot people placed their royal butts down on the seats.
whats that? sex on a drip? bring it on!
who says the dsyfunctionals cant party good? we just tend to party differently.
like going for medical while the rest of the world go for mind-buzzing music and body boogling dance!

perhaps it was our charm. but there was this actor/waiter that keeps coming back to us to show us his extensive collection of chilly fresh jokes.
which actor you ask? the one that played frankenstein of cos!

bum around and we had to spice things up!
played lucky bastard. the one who picked the ace out of the jokers had to reply honestly to questions being asked. really interesting.
strangely the babes are only interested in finding out about my eyecandy. but of cos my lips are sealed! HA!

getting lazy now... lets have some beautiful pictures shall we?

"oh wat is this? "

"just a drug, hun."

" oh my! how addictive! "

"i gotta have this!"