well the last few days have been... eventful...here's a summary

saturday
lol first hor...OMG WTH OUCH OUCH OUCH~!! i twisted my ankle for cheer and i didnt even realise till i reached home i was limping everywhere on saturday...=.=

had dance in the morning and i was like limping around in dance lol~ and so lame lor~!! shawn was telling us lame stories abt how he was doing so well in terms of results and everything in his school when he was our age~ =.= LOL
haha and he was like telling us abt how no life they were and got good results and how we are like taking things for granted~ =x

EVEN WORST~!! he scolded me for twisting my ankle and suggested that he get a bf for me so that i will be taken care of~! O.O LOL i am so not gay lor~!! i think~

then i rushed home after dance and went to bath and lunched then poped over to ps where they were having danceworks~ E.D was representing our school and sadly didnt get thru but u guys did great anyway~ ^^

haha i didnt see anything very exciting this year but oh well maybe cos i only saw from my school and the rest after and not those before...who apparently won~ =.=

oh yeah before that i went smu with adnan where i met mav, anthony, and rain...
took loads of pamphlets that i had to lug arnd the whole day and rekindled interest in paintball...

left after dinner to meet sister

wandered arnd bugis getting sweaty...dry...sweaty...dry....and sweaty again~ =.= hahah didnt manage to find wat we wanted so got something else instead~ =.= hahah apparently sis took fast enuff to shop lorhx~!! someone else took like 3~4 hours just to pick fake eyelashes~?? WTH~? =/





anyway after that we decided to watch movie to help try get sis's head out of some shit...HEHE
after much deliberation... we sis...=.= decided on marley and push...
so we watched midnight movie on marley where sis was like err...
then after that we decided to siao and watch push as well~!
and somemore we realised after tt that both movies were in the SAME hall and our seats were in the same 4 seat radius~ XDD

oh well... movies didnt help much...sis was emo... sis's fren was emo... and have i mentioned how much i dislike chao ah bengs/lians~? anyway... i control...

haha i dunno why... but its like... i am glad that sis is finally so serious abt something but like...it all got messed up... i mean like... dude... open ur eyes... cant u tell~? no matter wat u guys have been thru before... let bygone be bygones and start anew~! cant u see that u are hurting her so~? yes shit happens but live with it... stop being a puss and stand up like a man...how can this end in tears when u have absolutely NO fracking idea what happened before~? sis has changed soo soo much...and is still waiting despite all the harsh words...i seriously admire that...sis dun ever revert back...pls

so anyway tried loads of things to try to get sis mind away and tried scolding...comforting...advising... but somehow sis is so blardy stubborn...=.= oh well i am stubborn too so yeah like sis like bro hor~? =.=

went to have breakfast at macs ...emoed...and then we went home...strange that mum and dad didnt say anytthing abt us being out late...=P

sunday
cldnt sleep...was thinking...decided to dota
slept at arnd 9 plus and woke up till like 5 plus pm~ lol
damn hungry ... ravaged the house and starved till dinner
watched watwasit... cant rmb... think was tombraider... now watching matrix... super old sia...


i guess i have to do this...u asked wat i was thinking and i promised to tell...u can dun read but i feel like i owe u...
but please let me know wat u are thinking after this...

we have known each other for quite some time by now...arnd august i think? way before eoy i am sure...

i think i told u before... that i liked you haha that was like a looooong time ago sia...

when u were still being siao and HAHA u can say i was more innocent and impressionable the good old days hor~? XDD

many things happened before tt... i had my first break and we started hanging out...

u and i werent very close but like to many guys u left an impression
haha but i didnt like the way u were flirting and making use of ppl
so i didnt really care much and thot instead of trying to help u change for the better...for both selfish reasons and cos i was bored~?
lol i alwyas thot u cld be better if i was not wrong...
u rejected me once... outside the arcade... and it wasnt a direct rejection cos i didnt really ask u also...
baby would know... i think... cos i told her... haha i think i teared/cried~? HAHAH silly me hor~? i know... i was just so young and always have confidence issues and believe myself to be much less than others... probably i am still like tt~ XDD

i even rmbed i was disappointed when u were with an irritating fly...
then after some time we still got hang out but lesser and lesser... cos i told myself to avoid and numb myself i was successful of cos~
and for some time we even lost contact do u rmb~? maybe not...

so anyway...i thot i had gotten over things and decided to contact u one day...
one thing led to another and i am glad to say that u are one of the closest friends i have...haha i not sure if it is the same for u...
yet be it fate or foolishness, the same feelings have came back to plague me... yet now i am more experienced in dealing with them...
no more do i need to isolate myself...i cld isolate my feelings yet sometimes it is hard to prevent a leak...
too many a times i felt that i was leaking too much unnecessary feelings that u will sooner or later find out...
hahah i dun even know if u do... but i always suspected...

reason why i didnt say anything abt my feelings is cos i value ur happiness and our frienship...
which is why i dun try to break up r/s even if there is nothing but a glimmer of hope left for a couple...
its like my code of conduct... LOL super lame right~?
hahaha but yes... i do like u... but for the sake of our fs, ur happiness, ur r/s and the fear of rejection i had to shut my mouth and my heart be it being selfless or dumb or fearful...

i still hope that u guys get back happily tgt...
i wasnt lying...
hahah besides wat i wrote doesnt matter to u right...
so many ppl told u the same things before anyway... d*****, t*** and who knows who else~=x

haha but if u did read all this... do let me know... even if we cant be friends no more...dun leave me in the dark and at least tell me that it was cos of wat i said that made u uncomfortable or smth~ lol~ haiz ~ WOW i did it... its finally done...that took like alot of bravery sia~!! LOL