quick update

alright~
quick update!

friends come and go.
life moves on.
priorities come first.

prelims coming in a week.
studying to try to get at least a pass.
totally freaked out when i realised that i have more things that i do not know abt than i initially thought!

OH YEAH!
won Mr. Original for Retro Day.
LOL!

to all my beloved friends...JIA YOU!

RETRO DAY!

alright.
heres the much awaited scoop abt retro day during national day celebration in my school! =D

so the theme was retro day.

a bunch of us decided to go all hilarious and go seriously retro!
i went as a pimp king~ =P
and the rest went either as gangsters, hippies or some really cool looking people! =D


haha! photos!

oh yeah... before that... i love my fur coat and cane!

and is a nominee for MR. RETRO! LOL!!

love the people! hafiz, riz, raj, zebra, zara, izyan, rai, pengrong...thanks for being so on! =)

total solar eclipse

homg.
total solar eclipse.
a good excuse to disrupt class and i would not be in school! argh!

going to medical checkup on wednesday and have to rush back to school to help coordinate some silly dance thing.

wonder how am i going to finish up and rush back in time.

been really tired of school, i feel the entire weight of failure pressing upon me once again.
i feel the shiver of an impending doom.
history is repeating itself.
failure to achieve.
rejection.

even drinking and partying has kinda lost its hypnotic appeal to me...
just need someone who really cares and believes in me to encourages me.
to tell me that i am not a lost cause.
not just for pity sake.
or to be polite.

trying to think of a corny title but failed at that =x

wow.
it has been a really long time since i last blogged!

brief introduction to what has been happening should be in order...

went for 987 life's a beach with peeps (20th june i think?)
went for cindy's bbq/chalet on friday where i found out i knew more ppl then i realised...
and somehow i must have knocked myself out in the middle cos i cant rmb anything else that happened LOL
see kids, this is why you should not drink. drinking makes you forget and become stupid. LOL.

met loads of great folks during the holidays.
failed at TRYING to study.
got caught on a new mmorpg game, but getting bored over it.
went for KO night.
turned really old and still getting used to it.
exams started but hell, no stress, cos i know i will fail without studying lol.
hurm.

ciao~ =)
p.s for now.
p.s.s michael jackson died, for the lack of a better word. may his soul rest in peace. we will always rmb him. bless you, king of pop.

right or left~?

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22535838-5012895,00.html

go and try this out~
was surfing and found out abt this~ pretty cool~ =)
so what are you~?

are you logical and practical or are you creative and emotional~?
hahah but of cos nothing is for certain and this is just a fun test~ XDD
dun think too much abt it yeah~? ^^

btw~ i challenge all of you to see it both ways~!
I COULD~! =P

so go try and tag me to let me know yeah~? ^^

Birthday~!

weeelll this year's birthday was not as i have expected~
i had to re-evaluate many things that have happened since my last annual "self-aware of my age day"

first i gotta thank all those who turned up for my birthday countdown/ clubbing~ =D
love you guys loads and really thanks for coming~!
pity i didnt get drunk huh~? =P tooooooooo baaaad~!! HAH~!
especially xxx since she came down even though she is sick~ =))
she especially requested not to be named or shown due to some reasons~ =)

secondly, gotta thank all those who rmbed my birthday and wished me~!! =)
thanks guys~^^

3rd, once again i wanna wish all those who share the same birthday as me, a HAPPY DREAMER BIRTH DAY~!! stay cool and happy alright~ =P

NOW~
to start the blogging.
havent blog in awhile cos i really have no idea what to blog.
if i were to blog i was afraid it wld be full of whines, emo shits, frustrations and everything else that makes reading it a tough meal to swallow~
but after my birthday i guess i begin to see things in a diff perspective... not one that i am unfamiliar with but rather, unwilling to accept...

so anyway on with the birthday countdown before i start changing this post to wat i pondered upon about my life...

well birthday countdown...
lets break this phrase up.
theres birthday...which is like that day that u are born. (DUH~!)
and theres countdown...which is like counting down to the birthday~??
which means all this happened a day before my birthday~ but technically spanning across till the wee hours of the morning of my bdae~ =)

went double o on saturday...
was planning to celebrate with party girl M...COS WE SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY~!! HOW COOL~! =D
anyway they had problems entering and so they went off but not before huggss and wisshess~

so anyhow, silly me lazy to move and wanting to drink, decided to stay at double o
was retro night but i guess the guys didnt really dig it but hell we had a time drinking~ =D
played shots and guess mandy was getting sick or something but she didnt like the shots and passed them back to me~
the rest played bomb but i had noone to play with cos i was sending mandy off when it was arnd 3 plus~=((
thanks everyone for coming~ ^^

quite lazy already... maybe some pics~? =D

nic moi man

wasssssuppp

hahah being crazy~

i am who i am!

i just gotta get this clear.
to all you fools out there and i mean EVERYONE.
i am who i am... whatever i do, whatever i say or whatever i believe in.
dun undermine that to suit ur liking.

i may be nice or annoying; i may be caring or not; i may be friendly or anti-social but ultimately i am who i am.
do not compare me with someone else. i am not a cheap copy of someone else and i will never be.
we may be similar in the things we believe/act/talk, he/she might even be better at some things than me but i set my own trends, i walk my own road and i definitely DO NOT follow him/her.

join me if you will on my road and walk with me.
but bear in mind, this is me that you are talking about.
so stop being locked up in that tiny little world of yours and accept me and my actions for who i am. stop with the conscious/unconscious comparision. =.=

@sis: yeah comparisions sucks
not just from family. from peers and society.
some people just think they are beyond reach and that they are god's gift to the world and that we are trash.
this is wat i have to say.
FUCK YOU BITCHES. take a look in the mirror. look at your ugly face and ur ugly soul... for all of us we are all still going to HELL even though you think you are damn good/nice/popular. the irony.

disappointment

1st order of business: I ALTERED MY UNIFORM~!

this week/weekend has been a journey around the peaks of hell and heaven.
the feeling of ecstacy and depression conjoined as one pumps through my veins.

i saw this shiny half silver crocodile-looking skin converse jack prucell shoes (if i'm not wrong)
and its soooo nice~!
whenever did i become a bum for material goods i have no idea...
yet the desire still exists.

confusion and desire clouds my inner sanctum.
desperation starts to border my temple.

think i disappointed marcus wu when i didnt go study with them.
even worst was when i went to alter my uniform with maisha on sunday, we bumped into him~!
and i was wearing my newly altered uniform...
guess he thot i blew him off...
sorry man. i really got home late on sat so didnt go out study.

solace i seek.
despair i get.
judge me not by my actions but by the motives that drives those actions.
sorry everyone.

thanks maisha for bringing me to alter my uniform and crapping arnd with me~ =)
was great though i still thought u shld have bought those horny shoes~! LOL

i hope there be no misunderstandings or quarrels between all my friends.
hope all of my friends may be blessed with fortune of being able to get along with each other, for i will be the bridge.
the joys and horrors of being neutral.

glimpse of the past few days

sunday

went escape in the afternoon with okinawa-ians and had dinner with the babes at sakura international. wanted to ton but haiz...=.=
have pictures that i will upload some other time.



monday

was excited cos i finally went out with her. though it wasnt a date or anything i was quite happy~=)
though there were times that i felt like i was being treated like a ignorant piece in a game of chess...my heart hurts, but i shall wait for her to trust me better and hopefully start being more open and accepting towards me.
overall it was a great day~=)
thank you 172.



tuesday

short term memory... cant rmb anything abt tuesday~ =.=



wednesday

today had ex-class gathering at my ex-teacher's house.
wat a ex day it was.
not that close to them so it was just a so-so event.
nice to meet them again though =)
was encouraged to study harder and get better results. thanks guys.
nice of my teacher to make pizza and entertain us~ =)

wanted to meet 172 but she did not want to.
172 was suffering from dizzy spells and i was worried.
hope she feels better and guess she aint that open to me yet. *sigh*

the flame is just irresistible

u are my flame...i probably get hurt if i fly too close...but it is a risk i am willing to take =)

i daresay that you are the most challenging.
i have never gotten hurt so many times before anything begins...
but i will continue trying, hoping that u will choose me over him...
i just hope for a fair chance and truth between us...

i like you.

i am the moth to the flame

fool~!
thats what i get when my friends heard abt it.

just move on man, just move on, its not like something has already blossomed.
would u like to be made use of~?
interesting...

i know that some of the things that u told me are false.
but hey i am just a dumb moth to the flame.

confessions of a confused heart

i like you... alot.
yet u doubt me.
my heart aches to love.
yet my mind tells me to wise up.

i confessed.
yet you left me clouded.
past experiences told me to give up.
yet my emotions told me to perservere.

u walk past me and my heart starts beating.
a flick of ur hair and my nose starts tingling.
a smile from you gives me a rush.
a life with you is all i can ask for.

perhaps it was infatuation.
perhaps it was the hormones raging.
perhaps i have been lonely for too long.
yet all i want is to give things a try.

but alas, there is someone else for you.
over the seas and above others.
stealing your heart from plain sight.
as i stood, crying.

u walk past me and my heart starts beating.
a flick of ur hair and my nose starts tingling.
a smile from you gives me a rush.
a life with you is all i can ask for.

so tell me now.
and tell me straight.
do i stand a chance against the titan.
or have i been fighting a losing battle?

like a fool i must have looked.
silly as can be in your eyes.
yet wat i hope,
is not to be entangled in a web of lies.

u walk past me and my heart starts beating.
a flick of ur hair and my nose starts tingling.
a smile from you gives me a rush.
a life with you is all i can ask for.

holding true to wat i believe,
that you are the one who might set me free.
struggling to keep it all sane,
as i watch other guys get close to you.

this seems so much like a fairytale,
for it is all so surreal.
and so i hope with all my heart,
that this may be a happily ever after...

and u just walked past me...

wat a day it was on saturday~
kinda slow in updating cos there are like so many things happening.

like i promised i shall update abt double O
went with cindy and steffie to double O to meet their friends and all~
was really last min so i just grabbed and ran with whatever clothes i had.

who knew first person i saw there was --.
but silly -- didnt recognise me and ignored me~=.=

anyhow, was rather taken aback that it was retro night/mambo.
have not tried their mambo before and was pleasantly surprised~!
crazy cindy got slightly light headed after drinking and we had to stop her from destroying the world~!

partied all the way and came out to see -- outside...walking past me even after i sms -- that i was there and to look out for me~ =.=

pikchures~!

distraction.

i have to type this to distract myself from what i am feeling.
bought a bag today.
thanks maisha and atiqah for accompanying me~

retail therapy did not really work this time round...
still feeling down and out.

though i am quite glad i bought the bag.
its a haversack...a glittery kind...shiiny...

shall blog abt double O, which i went on saturday, some other time...

p.s..need a new blog template... anyone wants to offer some help?

i like you but you like someone else~

the life of a flirt? or not. definitely not.

alright

shall start with the introduction of two of our gorgeous girls today.




on the left is the pretty j and on the right is the gorgeous yx~
their names are censored for privacy~ LOL

if my memory doesnt fail me, it was last week saturday or something.
had been tempted beyond measure to go clubbing for quite some time now.
the chance finally came on that very saturday~=D

as usual i was late and all.
feeling ridiculous in my huge sweater looking thing wondering if it was the right to wear after all~?

met up and went club hunting.
decided on rebel and wtf alot of army guys that night...=.=
a whole bunch of totem poles that stood there ON THE DANCE FLOOR filling space. =.=
at least boogie~! but noooo, have to stand there and sms...=.=
retarded much?

was feeling sick and guess i was too shy~? so didnt make it crazy enough~=(
j as usual seems to always have a bone to pick with me.
yx on the other hand was charming as usual~ =)

who knew, saw bealson there with his guy friends at the toilet...=.=
bealson wanted to see the girls i was with so he INSISTED on waiting with me...
never really mixed with bealson and suddenly he is like so "close".
the impact of the mention of girls on guys is still remarkable regardless how many times i see/experience it.


remember i said i was feeling sick~? yeah... thats why beer and not hard liquor~=.=
damn...




the devil~!

drinking session with the girls

re re re -wind.
back to the start of our session on friday.
rushed over. as usual. late.
habit~*shrugs*

had dinner at BK central and walked to clarke quay with the 2 gorgeous girls by my side.
decided to have a shot at clinic.
of late i have realised that my command of english has dropped drastically. guess thats a problem for next time. random.

so the 3 groovy and hot people placed their royal butts down on the seats.
whats that? sex on a drip? bring it on!
who says the dsyfunctionals cant party good? we just tend to party differently.
like going for medical while the rest of the world go for mind-buzzing music and body boogling dance!

perhaps it was our charm. but there was this actor/waiter that keeps coming back to us to show us his extensive collection of chilly fresh jokes.
which actor you ask? the one that played frankenstein of cos!

bum around and we had to spice things up!
played lucky bastard. the one who picked the ace out of the jokers had to reply honestly to questions being asked. really interesting.
strangely the babes are only interested in finding out about my eyecandy. but of cos my lips are sealed! HA!

getting lazy now... lets have some beautiful pictures shall we?

"oh wat is this? "

"just a drug, hun."

" oh my! how addictive! "

"i gotta have this!"

susan boyle and the best thing that happened to me today...

in case you guys havent heard of susan boyle, here's the clip.



for a better video which includes cynical responses of the audience before she started singing, please check this link out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related
sadly, embedding this link was disabled.

she is good!
Do not judge her by her looks. Nor even by some of the negative comments.
When she sings, try listening with ur eyes closed. It is quite motivating...

the best thing that happend to me today?
i sat on the same row as my eyecandy for break!
Kept stealing glances. Guilty as charged.
that's not all.
I even talked to her.
For the FIRST TIME!
not exactly a conversation...but i shall work on that!
HURRAY!

liquor for the tired soul~

Blazing hot, the sun was on that bright saturday afternoon.
Foolishly leaving the shelter of my house.
Dreaded every passing moment under the sun as i hurried to meet nic and gang.

Dragged my sorry ass over and waited around for pooh bear to arrive.
Nic brought us to this ramen house.
Small, dim and cosy. Just my cup of tea!

Ordered a EXTRA large portion of cold noodles.
Nothing like cold soba, mind you.
Shared a plate of fried dumplings and being the glutton, i couldnt resist the urge to eat more could i~?
Had a huge onigiri and maaan was i full!

had to rush off to calvin's birthday chalet so i left earlier.
bought tequila and bourbon whiskey.

drink on!
we started around 12:30am?
ha! and guess what? i was the bartender, cleaner and entertainer! LOL
what boring drinks they had! absolut (plain, raspberry, ruby red) and probably another.
Luck, that i brought some!
music blasting, drinks sloshing but no dancing! pity.

played shots. mixed a whole lot. truth or dare. indian poker.
wait...more is to come.

highlight of the evening was when calvin became drunk!
the chinese have a proverb, "a drunk man will speak the truth!"
try it with russell peter's chinese accent...hilarious results guaranteed!
so he started spouting his inner darkest secrets and insulted everyone in the room!
An inch. that was how close he was to getting beaten by everyone.

tempting tempting tempting.
how do those bartenders stop themselves from drinking?
i couldnt!
too many different drinks makes for an upset stomach and i erupted!

in the morning, all that was left was a mess.
it seems as though some orgy took place.
hmmmmm...

chinese chess.
first thought that comes to mind would be old men at the void deck rotting away and playing to till their graves.

i scream at the thought of being labelled an old man or even a nerd, but still the impulse to play chinese chess is too great. shit.
my friends and i have been playing for the past few days in school whenever we can~the temptation to dominate and crush~! though all i have been doing is mostly losing...

i have finally found some motivation to go to school. chinese chess and eyecandy. i lead a sad life.
i wonder if i will grow old all alone. i will find the perfect one someday, perhaps.

meanwhile, was horrified when my friend accidentally injured eyecandy~! i must have looked extremely silly when i lectured my friend and made a whole hooha out of things. just end the world now, please.

had Skill A today and died terribly~=.=

been thinking of clubbing the whole day but cant think of when is the best time to go...
the thought of blasting music, intoxicating drinks infused into the veins and crazy people letting loose with friends just sets my skin tingling ~=)

hahah SOMEONE gave me the false hope today abt an oreo~!
HOW EVIL~!
my heart got totally crushed~!! =/

hurmz~
i think the celebrating from getting GOLD is getting to me~
i seem to be getting physically weaker as i put on weight~time to train~! =D
hurmz... the last time i actually thought of training...that didnt end up so well...=/

run. stop. positions. sweat glands pumping.

adrenaline rushing thru our body.

enveloped in darkness.

silence.

music. lights blazing.

flurry of actions with one shared consciousness.
for that moment, we were one.
screaming in our hearts.
feel the floor tremble under our might. sub-conciousness took over.
we became the air. smell us tempt you. feel us tantalize your senses. surround you.
leading you to a new level of excitement.

we poured in and took over.
it was not without stomachs flipping over and fingers going cold.
what we have been practising for... this is the moment...nothing else matters...the stage is ours.

it was the touch of a saint which gave us our power.
seniors, teachers and others exclaimed that it was, " GOOD~!"
we thought, " hell yeah~!"

breathless but excited.
the wait was excruciating. scaring ourselves silly with every other schools that we saw.
shining, shimmering; dull, gothic; elegant; silly.
whispered among ourselves.
what would they present that we did not?

alas~!
there was more to come~!
as emotions chewed away relentlessly, we fell victim to self-doubt.
what a sneaky little bastard.

hitting the fast forward, it was time for results.
waiting with bated breath.

linking hands and soul.

GOLD!

we erupted into cheer~!
tears flowed, emotions unleashed and we screamed in triumph~!

great work people. wonder how long i would remain smug about our victory.
1 week? or 2?
haha thats discussion for a later day.
meanwhile...

wooooooo~! what is that pleasant and enticing smell~?!?
ooh.. its just the smell of victory~ =)

hey hey hey~!

wasssup y'all
time to give a short update of wats been happening

practice and more practice as usual hahah but for a good reason
COMPETITION IS ON THURSDAY~!!
TMR~!!

guess its time to see if we can beat the titans and achieve our due rewards~ XDD
gogo HEYAHO~!!

wat a week this was~

the weekend was like a emotional rollercoaster~

practice in the morning on sat~still upset that some parts were cut.
oh well at least things are less tiring now~=.=

was pissed off that some ppl can just assume things...
and no i am not talking abt u cyn~
wats with the trying to beat me down when u guys aint there when i was having my ups and downs~? just cos all u guys went to better schools do you really assume that you are better than me and thats why i cant study? dont assume that i have loads of free time after hearing from people that hardly contact me except perhaps twice a year or NOT AT ALL~?

was suppose to have lunch with a grp of frens on sat but seems like it was on sunday instead so i went back home and slacked around waiting to meet nicholas and company

met around 6plus~? went sakura to eat~
we spammed everything on shishamo~RETARDED i tell you~ LOL
its was like a never-ending river of shishamo~=D
and man the company was good~ we laughed we joked we crapped and chatted
it almost seems like we have known each other for 10 years or more~!

stuffed and stuffed ourselves and finally decided to reluctantly leave sakura when we are like all bulging and hardly able to move~! i was siao enough to eat dessert while they were having main course and main course while they were having desserts~ XDD

met henry and yi (z/c)hao, cant rmb how to spell, but yeah, went to play lan tgt~
played games like l4d, cs, dota, element td, c&c kane's wrath and i think some more~
cant rmb~ and we played from night till morning so yeah~ XDD
it was all good fun and was wat i needed~fun with friends~=D

cabbed home slept till 10 in the morning
forced myself to wake up cos i thot got lunch date with another grp of frens
BUT HEY~!! surprise, wasnt notified of the venue or time when it was changed to sunday from saturday~ so i sat at home waiting and waiting while my mood turned from stoned to freaking hell flabbergasted at myself...how was it that i have made myself vulnerable again?

but hey if i were to confront them i am very sure they will come up with something that will make it look like it was all my fault and i am the one who should worship them~

friends...

decided that people change, things change, perhaps we used to get along... but well times change and guess it was just history...

been watching some snippets of korean drama the last few days and started reminiscing abt my ex, how i miss her...

a sudden 1 week hiatus

haha well i have been away from my whispers for around a week

didnt really realise that it has been this long~!

was just really busy with stuff and by the time i reach home i was beat~lazed around, played some games unwind and went to sleep

that has been the cycle for the past week or so~

practise has gone on and on every single day well except good friday of cos

haha thats why i am here now i suppose~ ^^

oh oh competition is up next thursday and thats really why we have been dragging our sorry asses into one practise after another~=/

which is also the reason why i am so shagged to even club with my dear friends~T.T

abit disappointed with practise though...my role has been reduced based on the imperfections that flawed the synchornisation as a whole...

though i do not shrug the responsibility for the reduced role, i am not wholly to blame...which kinda explains the sore spot in my heart

OHH YES MY EYECANDY~!! WOOOOOOOOOOLALALALALALLALALA

lolx dun bother asking who~ i not telling~^^

100% plus chop, security clearance, locks, vault, zip and key heheh =P

on the final note, went to kk hospital to take a look at the children's wards there and felt kinda sad for some of the terminally ill children and rekindled the desire to have my own platoon of children and a nice loving supportive family~ =D LOL

i want to complain...
WTH is wrong with some people~?!?

must they find it interesting and fun to spoil other people's fun~?
do they think it is fascinating to do so~?

wat the hell~ not only do you spoil people's time in having fun~you are also making a fool out of urself~!! think so smart right~? if you succeed in getting wat u wanted then i will think differently of you~i will still despise you only cos of the way u do things

BUT if u FAIL in getting wat you want, YOU ARE A LOSER~!! and i will despise you cos of ur horrible methods and ALSO for not getting wat u wanted~LOSER~!!

wat a waste of time getting to know you~

my face is cramped from controlling my temper and smiling back at you~
but hey if i really did punch you in the face that will be poor sportsmanship right~?
and i did try to be civil but u ignored so dun blame me for wat i might do the next time i see you~BIATCH

wednesday thursday friday...

hurm now its 3-in-1~!
lol

cant rmb wat i did on wednesday...
at night went out to st james with bff and her ah beng and lians frens~=.=
zzz~if u all dunno why i zzz or =.= then too bad... ask me by urself

it was ok larhx~ but the atmosphere wasnt there for that day and i tell u the dj was not that good~=.=
keep repeating the same song after 2 or 3 others...
and besides bff i know noone there so abit sianz~

realise there are alot of malays there and a few older ppl~like real older~=x

went for medical appointment again on thursday morning and did lung test and xray~
and have to wait for nxt time to get my results

went school in the afternoon~how foolish of me~ =(
had practise and poof now its friday and i bored at home...

hurmz...

cant wait cant wait for the holidays to come~=)

tmr is april 1st~ and that means it is april fools day~ lol i wonder wat will be happening~

neglecting so many things so far but started on a new book...

something about invisible acts of power that u can do for yourself and for the people around you~

i find it rather interesting cos it sort of gives a new perspective of the psyche of most...
the quotes are rather thought inducing~

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is." -Albert Einstein

since monday is another boring day,
i shall blog about sunday instead~ =D

sunday~ hahah i dragged bff out to relax and slack with me cos i was feeling super stressed and not motivated and just wanted to chill~=)
and oh also of cos bff wanted to meet me and collect bdae gift~ =.=

so met around 1 plus and went to paragon the coffee bean to slack and chat and catch up with each other~
i really like that place cos its a nice place to chill and its outdoors~ =D
had black forest ice blend and scone~ DAMN NICE~!!
googoo try it~ =P

so we chat
and chat
and chat
and chat
and complained
and whined
and adviced
and chat
and chat
for around 2 hours plus~?
hehe

so yeah later i decided to go walk around paragon and suddenly remembered that i ran out of my perfume so i went perfume shopping with bff~ XDD

damn funny~ but before we did that i drag bff to muji and wanted to buy essence oils for burning in my room~ =P decided to save and buy some other day~ ^^

went hunting around for a new scent
and ended up at taka
hahah so we 2 were like dogs sia~!!
sniff sniff here
sniff sniff there~!!

couldnt really decide so was like walking round and round and round~ =D
decided to think more abt it and come back some other day but already have a brief idea which one i want liaoz~ =D

so we idled around and waited to meet my friend and her friend...at tony roma's

ate ribs and crapped abt stuff while stuffing ourselves~ =x
was nice to eat with them~ =)
her friend was friendly too~ ^^
heheh we did silly stuff while there~ let the pictures do the talking~ XDD

so after that me and bff went to watch the unborn...AT NIGHT~!!
wat the hell...scare ourselves only lorhx~ blardy shit...stupid movie sound so startling... even not scary became like wah~!! wth~?!?

friday and saturday practise practise and more practise...

more bruises and old injuries are surfacing~

if u guys find this few entries rather dry~thats cos it is...
my life lacks excitment...

i find myself slowly reverting to 1-man-island state...

have u guys ever had the feeling that u are all alone even though sometimes u might be surrounded by people~?

well yeah thats what i have been feeling recently~hahah emo yeah~ but hey that was wat i used to be and now i am reverting back~

and if no, count urself lucky~ and find one day to to truly thank the friends that stood by you and enjoy them while it lasts...

earth hour...supported it i guess~? didnt have my lights on but my com and tv was on... ironic... tell me abt it..

sch starting monday... and its only march... how the heck am i going to survive all these bullshit~?
i no longer enjoy my class...i am finding it very HARD to adapt to the new additions...god damn it... it should have just been the same as last year... it was so much more fun and less awkward... geez

well i decided that my blog should be more updated in its entries which is why i am posting today~=) instead of every 2 days once...

today, recovering from "depression" that my friends are gone i guess~?
started to mingle more again...

today was a long and tiring day so i was really dragging my feet to school.
played frisbee

thank god one of my teachers not around cos i owe her loads of work~ ^^

fooled arnd with laughing gas with friends and was laughing ourselves silly~=P
probably one of the very few times this week that i actually laughed that hard or even laughed at all~=)

gosh it was just so silly that everyone's reaction was so strange and unique~!!
and their laughter~ contagious man i tell you~=P

oh yeah some kiddy fact abt me...
i like to watch cartoons and anime~ ^^
one of the cartoons that i like to watch~?

BEN 10~!! heheh
kiddy right~? wat to do... relieve stress marhx~ =)

tuesday

hurmz i just realised that my current trend is to post every 2 days~o.o

i didnt even notice... and it most definitely is not done on purpose...

guess i lost my motivation to do anything these days...



went for medical appointment today for my sunken chest...

all these while i thought it was cos i wasnt sitting right or i was hunching...

upon inspection it was revealed to me that it was a real medical deformity...

pectus excavatum...thats what its called...

haiz~doc told me it was permanent...even if i work out or something...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pectus_excavatum



so now you know one more thing abt me... haiz~

having a bad cough and flu... it is annoying... i can use up to 4 packets of tissues while in school...



while i was at the CGH, saw something interesting...

was surprised to see a prisoner there...
i guess living in a relatively safe country we take things for granted and dont realise that there are actually criminals out there...
whereas if they deserve a second chance~it is not in my position to comment...


wednesday

was dying in sch today due to my poor health...

i desperately need some form of motivation...
barely surviving in sch...
everything seems so bleak and morbid...

showcase was messy... as usual...

while waiting... it started to rain...
sat down and looked into the rain...sighed...

sunday

lol another boring day...

most interesting part of the day was when i watched the pacifier and the matrix revolution~ XDD

hahah but the more i watch the matrix trilogy the more unfair the world is... lol

though the movie is kinda corny... i mean like just cos the oracle told you he is ur one true love so u actually believe and it actually works~?!?

how abt the part where only the privileged are allowed to get through the system~?

hahah for those who dunno a thing... WATCH THE TRILOGY~!! =P lol~



monday

was very sad that 2 of my good friends had to leave my class~ =((

tried to get along during the day but haiz~ it just felt different~=x



then something happened during practise today...

i found a lil bird~!! a real live bird~!

and it was like hidden in a corner...

it hardly moved except for occassional spasms and reckless twirling and flapping...



at first we thot that it injured its wing or its leg...

so i happily carried it over to where our bags were and left it there...and called it chirp chirp~ =x



so we were like talking abt chirp chirp and happily saying that it was cute and wanted to bring it home or something

we would panic whenever it squirms and thrash about~=/



at the end of practise however... we realised that it has moved on~ =x

MY BIRDY DIED~!!!

(yes...the whole time we were joking abt it~ from the beginning to the end =.=)



we were all very sad and i carried the bird down and rested it in a bush...

(another hot topic~ =/)



fly free chirp chirp~!! and may your soul rest in peace~T.T

friday
nothing much ... dance practise again... watched like 6 mins into "coming soon" then had to stop to watch dance videos~ =.=
didnt finish watching "coming soon" when i was starting to get interested~ LOL

saturday
woke up early today to meet my ex-schoolmates...2 diff batches of them~lol

1st) my sec 4 classmates... lol i lost touch with them for like 3 to 4 years~?
so this is like the first time we got back together...i mean with me ...
we wandered arnd... went west mall...
hahah some of them changed while most of them still remained mostly the same ~=)
ate pastamania and crapped arnd talking shit and laughing abt stuff...i wasnt really that close to them so this was kinda hard...cos i'm shy~=D

went arcade played games... basketball, table hockey and some retarded shooting game where we were making loads of noise whenever the monsters jumped out~! LOL not just the players mind you, but even us who were standing at the side~ XD

slacked around and waited for their movie to start before i left...

2nd)went to meet rem, zzy, kt at safra yishun...
they were starting on a board game rpg called dungeons and dragons... IT IS SO COOL~!! =P
lolx~ ^^ its complicated but kinda fun~^^

anyway when i reached it was like around 5 plus~? so we went to bowl...
AND SURPRISE SURPRISE~!! guess who were there~?
my school's bowling team~!! LOL~!! hahah and apparently they didnt do very well in the tournament~soooo...=x

AND~!! second surprise... the arab malay aunty who used to be a canteen vendor at our school~? SHE WAS THERE TOO~!! LOL~!! with her family bowling~^^ and we were like at neighbouring lanes~XDD
she was nice and offered me grapes and fruits~ ^^

haha i also saw this cute nus bowling girl... think her name was sarah-ann or something~ cute~! =P

so we started bowling~hahah first game i was tyco and got a score of 115~ XDD will strikes and scores~ XDD
this is already very good for a person like me who only goes bowling probably only 2 to 3 times a year~?? =P
anyway 2nd game i was so lucky and i think i got like 70+~?
OH WELL~!
i want to go bowling again soon~ anyone wanna go~? =P

had dinner at northpoint's japanese food court~ oooh so much food~!! i wanna try them all~! haha but oh well... cant spend all i have on food now can i~? =x

reach home like 12plus and is watching some show on channel 5 called absolon~o.o

wednesday
hurmz in the day had cca camp~
lol made the juniors confused and got them to know us better~ ^^
started at 8 plus and ended like at 6plus~?

hahah had dance practise then chiong home to change~
met audrey and cy for dinner~ ^^

went to manhattan fish market~
i ordered a pollock fillet with mussels~ and caeser salad~ XDD
i was like suppppppppper hungry larhx~!!



hahah then we admired the scenery~ =P
and laughed abt stupid like things and the people screaming while doing the rides...
dunno larhx the night started off quite strange i think~?

went walking arnd and waited for dinesh and jolin then suddenly calvin pop out from nowhere O.O

haha lol anyway we went to obar and thot the girls sure can get in then WHO KNEW~!!
ended up the guys went in and the rest all stayed outside...=.=
wah lao somemore pay liao lorh~
we all got frustrated then discuss for super long and noone knew wat to do...

went in for drinks with dinesh and cy then came out discuss somemore...
went with audrey to 7-11 and got oolong tea for cy and corona for myself...
suddenly audrey's phone rang and it was her bf... he is pissed that she didnt tell him she going out drinking with us...then because of that she has to leave~ =.=

ernie came... so she, calvin and jolin decided to go somewhere else while the rest of us went obar first~ =D

haha seems like dinesh has some friends in there so we chilled with them and started the party going~ XDD
hahah it has been like a long time since i last clubbed~!! hahah but yeah man~! clubbing with friends ish coolz~!! =P



hahaha OHOH~!! forgot to mention that over there a girl/woman/lady~? dragged me to dance with her~ LMAO but i didnt see properly larhx~ so after that i ask my friends... who the hell was that~ O.O
hahah then they said like orhx its some random stranger...probably not so goodlooking thats why so despo to pick up guys~ XDD ROFL
hahah but even so~ its abit of a ego booster~ =P

anyway later we partied and headed over to where the 3 were and PARTIED SOMEMORE~!! LOL~!!
ended around like 4~? and slacked around and started heading home lorhx~ ^^
i reach home arnd 4plus 5~?
hahah slept like 2~3 hours before i woke up for cca camp~ =.=

thursday
went for cca camp and was DAMN TIRED from the night before~ haha so yeah was super tired and sleepy then lucky it was damn slack today~ ^^

dance practise was horrendous~!!
SUPER TIRING... AND PAINFUL~!!
went over and over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER the steps for like 4 hours~?!? little rest and i was raining sweat all over... I SWEAR when i wring my shirt the sweat just flowed and formed a puddle~ and its quite a big one...=/
so yeah the whole place was swamped with my sweat~ XDD

oh yeah i was cranky from lack of rest and too much stress and was tired ... at least thats wat my frens say... so when we had to do one last time to show the incharge i snapped and shouted stompped my feet scolded vulgarities...lolx...

the rest is kena scolded lectured...i know i was wrong so i promise not to do it again...and everyone stunned loooking at me...lol...sianz~

ANYWAY...tired...need a holiday...and SOME MOTIVATION~!!
how can my good friends leave me alone in class~?!? =((


this is to miyuki:
jiayou worhx~work hard for ur job hor~ dun lose faith in urself and quit easily~=.=
it has a good pay so work hard bahx~ ^^
try saving also larhx~ i worried at the way u keep spending wat u have sia~!=.=
hahah lalala someone keep going out with jeremy horx~ =P

monday

hurmz~ went to sch for lessons... went to lecture in science centre...
went for dinner at pepper lunch
and went home...tired...

tuesday
hahah today was more interesting than monday...
went out to play pool with himura and hikki
went funan and saw my ex-collegues...wat asses...egocentric people...

oh well then went to paradiz and played pool~
LOL i swear i will be hated by them~ i so tyco that they also cannot tahan~ XDD
sad part was that whenever i left with the 8 ball i cannot get it in then they will catch up and win~ T.T

hahah oh yeah i played one game with hikki and i think i made him pissed lol~!!
when he left with the 8 ball i purposely block with my balls and end up he cant move~ LOL

oh well came back home and dota with himura and is now watching v for vendetta~ =D
tired and shall sleep soon

a wet wet saturday~=3

sunday

hahah woke up relatively early today~was supposed to meet babe for movie today but timings were crappy so decided against it~ LOL
dun kill me when u read this ok~! =D

so stayed home and watched tv and played games... wat games~? dota lorhx~ wat else~ lol~

soon it started raining cats and dogs...



as i looked out of the window, i started to emo.
i wondered... wat was the meaning of my life~?
was there anything worth living for~? or rather, was my life up to this point a fruitful one~?
wat have i done or accomplished~?
i have going down on a downward slope and think it is abt time to pick myself up and roll up my socks.
but is it too late~?

lol studies wise i have still yet to do anything substantial~in fact i was supposed to be finishing a paper by today cos monday have lessons...ended up slacking whole day~lol

slowly, i started thinking abt relationships~
LOL yes i have been doing that alot recently... i wonder...

every single time that i seem to think that i have grasped the fundamentals of the whole shebang, the checking of true feelings, the i-can-see-that-u-want-to-use-me-as-a-toy, the this-is-just-an-illusion-u-dunno-wat-u-are-thinking-cos-u-aint-good-enuff, and watnot, i seem to unravel a brand new spectrum of events and emotional potholes~

LOL~ not that i am complaining that my life sucks...ok maybe i am...
i shall complain abt the lack of a love life, or at the very least the lack of a concrete love life
concrete being the relationship being there for the sake of love and not of the threads that trail behind...

hahah well i am crapping so much that i have NO idea what i am saying anymore...
anyway the gist is that... hey... when can i find my damsel in distress, princess beautiful (hehe guess where i got tt from~? DUH...prince charming...=x), maiden in shiny apron(no offense intended...and no prizes for guessing where the reference is from...=.=)~??O.O

then i watched forbes top 20 under 25, and i started to sulk... damn why are all those people so fraking rich~?? come on share some of that wealth and popularity with me~! if i cant make ppl fall in love with me at least they can fall in love with my money~! LOL nah just joking~=P

but seriously~dun you ever dream that sometimes YOU are the particular millionaire/ss or actor/actress~ HECK i do it ALL the time~! lol

guzzling that champagne, riding around in a jet ski in ur own private lake then rushed off in ur jet plane to some exotic soft white beach for a long relaxing massage and spa before dressing up for a party on the beach for bbq, steaks, seafood fresh out of the water and a long bar with all ur friends enjoying the night sky with the campfire crackling and the mariachi band playing in the background churning up a festive and lively atmosphere~

haha~ ^^ did i just make your mouths water or wat~?! =D

slacked around the "mansion" and all the while smsing babe~ XDD
something that babe and cindy said made me wonder...
yes yes its back to guys and girls... LOL

first, before i get to what they said,... girls intend for guys to be gentlemanly yeah~? but how many of them act the way of a lady~? who are the gentlemen suppose to be court if there are no ladies out there~? and vice versa~ so stop complaining that there aint any gentlemen left out there when there aint any ladies out there either~!

babe said something abt looks, insides and females having abs...O.O
HAHA if the first thing u think of when u see females having abs is the HUGE BUFF FEMALE BODYBUILDER, then HIGH5~!! =P



gosh scary~!! hehe~^^
so is it a case of gender reversal when since prehistorically, man are more buff and females more emotional and yet in this era man are more emotional(in certain case) and females more buff~? (also in certain cases)
well then~when can we expect guys to give birth~?

how abt courtship~? how does a guy fall for a girl~? or even considers a girl~?
is it the looks or wats inside~? character and personality~? is every girl pretty in her own right~?
personally i prefer character and personality and while to be honest i am a guy so hey yeah looks matter too~! ( hold ur horses~! let me finish) but as long as she is fine and note that i say fine and not hideous or gorgeous, i wouldnt mind cos hey u cant blame me since i gotta see that image for god knows how long~!
but of cos PRIORITY goes to character and personality~(and now you can torture me)
are u reading this babe~? XDD

oh and another thing... dun u get annoyed when a girl/guy that u like or is interested in happens to like another guy/gal or is still clinging on to that scrap of past memory~? haha i think of it as sweet and loyal~ but it seems to have an affinity with me...=.=
so wats the best thing i do~? i usually walk off~=D
at least i leave with my dignity intact~well MOST of the times~ =x

then cindy said something abt a fren ask her out but didnt sms her details then she didnt want to sms that fren so end up didnt go out ...=.=
first reaction was...WTH~??
are girls so reliant on being spoonfed in a r/s or f/s that they cant take the first move~?
i mean like... if the fren didnt sms me the details i will still like sms and ask if the outing is still on or something right~? so why is it so hard for girls to do so~?
(oh this is not the first time i heard this happening but from diff ppl~so yeah~ =.=)

haha try not to kill me kay ppl~? =)
just a rant by a silly dreamer~ ^^

thank you

to start things off i would first like to thank all those who prayed for me and us...
maybe it was the success of the prayers or something but i got promoted... finally~
so thank you all you guys for the wishes, the blessings and the prayers~ ^^

special mention to miyuki cos of the well wishes on the blog post~ ^^ thanks hor~

today
went sch took results got nagged to do better by teachers went breakfast at DOME went boonlay to meet wu but kena ps cos he wanted to go wif girls~=.= then met soffian hanafie tong samuel and terence to go ntu then went to nus then came home...got stuck outside home cos no key... got pissed while waiting and now home...

hahah the day was seriously lame...=.=
hahah we made fun of terence that everywhere we go girls will be looking at him and told him to give us chance and not take all the girls~ XDD

went ntu... was not so excited abt the girls there...=.=
was excited abt the english and honours programmes there though~
was bored by the sch activities though...
was thinking of joining the rider's club thing... but that means i gotta pass my bike lisence first and OWN A BIKE ~=.= dammit

was tired but the rest wanted to go nus so went buona vista and took bus to nus...
on the way there terrible tong got himself stuck outside the mrt and we had to wait for him there...=.= LOL strike 1!

went nus and wanted to stop at central lib but TONG decided to stop early so all of us went down with him feeling confused~ LOL strike 2~!!

we took internal bus to eat at i think engineering fac then walked to open hse
on the way there TONG decided to take the underpass to SOME UNKNOWN PLACE even when the open house was just down the slope~ =.= LOL STRIKE 3 AND YOU'RE OUT~!!! rofl~

so waited for tong and silly samuel who followed tong ~=.=
we got our bags... walked arnd... SAW MANDY~! haha hug hug kiss kiss HAHA NO LARHX~ =P
ask what she doing there and how long then went for this talk abt science in nus...i think i feel asleep like 10 times~?!? sleep then wake up try to stay awake...hear his voice...sleepy...eyelids drooping...*snore*...=.=

hahha after that went collecting phamplets and brochures thingys and was VERY INTERESTED in the exchange programmes that they have~ ^^

oh yeah... saw sze hou there~ =.=
so dao lorhx that guy~ =.=

anyway~was a tiring day so we decided to head back...

AND
I GOT LOCKED OUT OF MY HOUSE~!!

so annoying... cos i got no key then noone at home and didnt answer hp somemore~ wah lao... lucky i got ppl to call and spend time chatting~ ^^

hahah oh yeah i realised that on first impressions i like girls with long straight and well kept hair~ ^^ nice smell is a bonus~ XDD

teambuilding / personality quiz~=P

hurmz today was quite a long day sia~ ended everything at around like 6 plus then traffic jam till like 8 plus before i reached home~? retarded larhx~ haha but i guess we all had a fun day yeah~?

today was teambuilding/ personality quiz day for all of us in the same level in sch...
we started off the day as usual lorhx... go blardy early... complain lack of sleep lol
then after that we went and had some ice breakers first...

so yeah this is like how it went...something like simon says~? except we gotta reply with actions to watever thing the person says~ LOL we sabo an entire class to go on stage and do the SEXY banana dance sia~ XDD hehe basket they wanted to sabo us back later but thats later part~ =P

then we went to listen on all the different styles of personality mainly: directive, spontaneous, analytical and hurmz... wat was the last one.. i think it was emotional or something~? LOL i came out to be spontaneous and stuff like that~LOL

haha so apparently for people in the same category as me are attention-seeking and are fun to be with~LMAO~!! and sometimes for the sake of others they do things without thinking first or something like that~ HURMZ~ XDD

so after that it was teambuilding games~^^

i am so PROUD of my class cos we did the games as a class~ =D
i want to thank my teachers my parents my 18 generations~ XDD HAHA

first was this blindfold obstacle course~HAHAH damn funny part was when we all are blindfolded i take off my blindfold and started tickling and flicking people~ XDD hohoho~ =P
then they were are all like "OI~!! OUCH~!! WHO IS THAT~?!? O.O" MUAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA~ XDD yes i know i am sadistic~ =P

then was the game where we are asked to form a vertical height of at least 2m with only our shoes AND with our feet still in it~ so if u can do some simple calculations... 2m is wayyyyyyyy above all our heads~ =.=
haha using some creativity and cheer skills~ MUAHAHAHAHA some guys sat the girls on the shoulders and started stacking and i am proud to say we reached 2.39 m~!!

this was a big accomplishment for us cos we each took diff roles and contributed in one way or another to this AND compliments to the girls who dared to sit on top the shoulders COS not all girls are that brave or open to such radical ideas~ XDD

so anyway we cheered and roared as a class and i can say our morale of the class has increased~lvl up~!! lvl 2~!lmao

*tear drops*


*sniffs*


good job guys~ ^^

OUCH~!!!

damn it larhx~!! my ankle is still twisted/sprained from cheer and NOW my back is painful from some "stunt" carrying thing~ =.=

RAWR~!!

ok so this is wat happened today...
hurmz~ actually nothing much sia... except that lessons as usual until like 4 plus plus~?
then after that practise till like 8~? then came back home and blog and eat lorhx~

hahah oh we talked abt loads of crazy stuff today too~ HAHAH abt dead skin and how u must remove dead skin... then my classmate super funny... say everyday take out dead skin...o.o
then my other fren was like...wth~? how much dead skin do u have sia~?? O.O LOL~!! XDD

then we went on abt digging ears to hear properly and there will like a huge load of crap inside if u dun dig~ =.=

HAHAH yeah i know... we are crazy~ ^^

farewell is always the hardest thing to do

hahah today can say it was a rather emotional day bahx~?

pon sch today to send off my friends at the airport~ =P
i was scared like crap that our principal/head honcho wld appear~ LOL
cos whether i cld remain studying is all up to the sch committee~ and if he sees i pon sch~=.= ultimate gg~ lmao

anyway~ gave both saki and tomoyo cards that i SUPER last minute drew so kinda messy and all~ =.=
hahah the crazy part was that the girls, who went with me and the si extra kaypoh who wanted to come, rushed over to scream and take pictures and all with the guys~ =.=

buay pai seh lorhx they all~=.=
hahah i was like so embarrassed by the loud behaviour lorhx~! LOL~!! =P

hahah anyway took pictures... BUT I DUNNO WHO TO COLLECT FROM SIA~!! =((
then chatted arnd, waited for them to finish checking in and took more pictures~ XDD
i am missing them already sia even while writing this~ =.=

OHOH~!! and the happiest thing that happened to me was that my sensei gave me a present~!! =D it meant alot to me and was very special~^^ it was a one of a kind and thats why i was so protective of it... i wanted it be MY special thing not part of a mass production thing...
so even if u guys say i am selfish and lazy or wat i dun care... u guys shld have understand that...=.=
it is a picture of my coolest, funkiest and most memorable friends... my dearest class =)

slowly but surely... they left... one by one through the departure gates...
how my heart swells with the urge to leave with them... =/



how long more will it be before we see each other again my friends~? i do hope it wld be soon... take good care my friends and i hope the best for all of u~ till we meet again... sayonara~ (^-^)p


well i have been thinking alot today (well actually it was sleeping mostly =P)
and slowly my mind wandered off and started thinking of all the friends that i have made since ...well since i cld rmb~?
how many of them have remained from the times we were happy having fun tgt till this very moment~?
how many of them have stayed by my side when i was down and out~?
how many were hypocrites~?
how many from acquaintances became good friends only to float away~?
how many are loyal~?
how many have i been there for~?
how many have i let down~?
how many are annoying yet friends nontheless~?
how many are annoyed by me~? =P
how many i disregarded~?
how many i broke off with cos something i/we/they did~?
too many questions too many...

it was those memories that flooded my mind...
someone once told me that friendship is just an illusion...
only when people need each other so as to make use of them THEN do they forge these so-called friendship...
well i did emo and believe that before when i was like very young... (6 to 7 years back i think~?) after all my past experiences and based my friendship on wat i can gain... but soon realised that the hurt that was involved was not worth it for both parties...(btw this is my own experience and thots... in no way shooting anyone~=.=)
hurmz~food for thought ehx~?

i dunno wat to believe except that only time will tell who are ur true friends~ =)
hahah i know for some people this coming from me can be very ironic~ but hey i value friendship better than u know

haha ok first of all hor~i tweaked around abit and i found out that can disable left/right click even if is standard template~ HAH~!! lalalalaal~ ^^
but there are still ways to see wat i write...like get a magnifying glass~! XDD
i just add shuang only~ ^^

and some retard told me cannot~ =.= and go off also didnt tell me make me think die already or wat~ =.= RAWR~!!

hurmz where to start... well...
HAHAHA dun u guys love my small font~? i think it rawks~ ^^

so anyway ytd there wasnt anything much... was being bored and rotted in sch
today however my long time friends from japan finally came over~!!
was like super excited though not all of them came over~
bonded and took pictures with them~^^
i think i shall pon sch to go send them off tmr... i wonder if the principal will catch us there~ =.= damn...to think my criteria to stay on might be abolished by this farewell~ =.=

pictures will be uploaded as soon as i get them~ =D


LOL but yeah...hehe anyway ...

and haha yeah i always suspected u knew...
and i always knew it was not possible for anything
but haha... the rest u know liaoz lor~=/
and plz dun relate me to that person~ =.=
is so different lorhx~ i am who i am rmb~? thats what u told me~ =P

hahah well thats wats i am here for right~? =P
hahah and yes i admit it was a lousy time for me to have done this~ =.=

really mehx~? i seriously doubt if u can see an incoming car come from the surroundings lorhx~!! O.O hehex~ =P

haha how abt the part where u cant make use of girls for atm and stuff lehx~? HEHEX~!! =P haha but yeah i understand larhx~who do u think i am~? LOL

aww~ u say until like that i will shy one lehx~ *blush blush* LOL~!!
but of cos~ thats cos i am COOL~ XDD ROFL~!! =)

hahah yeah i know... lol
but at least u are changing and have changed for the better lorhx~
but yet somehow some ppl still cant see that...
if it was the old you u wld have ran off and found a replacement by now...

well the last few days have been... eventful...here's a summary

saturday
lol first hor...OMG WTH OUCH OUCH OUCH~!! i twisted my ankle for cheer and i didnt even realise till i reached home i was limping everywhere on saturday...=.=

had dance in the morning and i was like limping around in dance lol~ and so lame lor~!! shawn was telling us lame stories abt how he was doing so well in terms of results and everything in his school when he was our age~ =.= LOL
haha and he was like telling us abt how no life they were and got good results and how we are like taking things for granted~ =x

EVEN WORST~!! he scolded me for twisting my ankle and suggested that he get a bf for me so that i will be taken care of~! O.O LOL i am so not gay lor~!! i think~

then i rushed home after dance and went to bath and lunched then poped over to ps where they were having danceworks~ E.D was representing our school and sadly didnt get thru but u guys did great anyway~ ^^

haha i didnt see anything very exciting this year but oh well maybe cos i only saw from my school and the rest after and not those before...who apparently won~ =.=

oh yeah before that i went smu with adnan where i met mav, anthony, and rain...
took loads of pamphlets that i had to lug arnd the whole day and rekindled interest in paintball...

left after dinner to meet sister

wandered arnd bugis getting sweaty...dry...sweaty...dry....and sweaty again~ =.= hahah didnt manage to find wat we wanted so got something else instead~ =.= hahah apparently sis took fast enuff to shop lorhx~!! someone else took like 3~4 hours just to pick fake eyelashes~?? WTH~? =/





anyway after that we decided to watch movie to help try get sis's head out of some shit...HEHE
after much deliberation... we sis...=.= decided on marley and push...
so we watched midnight movie on marley where sis was like err...
then after that we decided to siao and watch push as well~!
and somemore we realised after tt that both movies were in the SAME hall and our seats were in the same 4 seat radius~ XDD

oh well... movies didnt help much...sis was emo... sis's fren was emo... and have i mentioned how much i dislike chao ah bengs/lians~? anyway... i control...

haha i dunno why... but its like... i am glad that sis is finally so serious abt something but like...it all got messed up... i mean like... dude... open ur eyes... cant u tell~? no matter wat u guys have been thru before... let bygone be bygones and start anew~! cant u see that u are hurting her so~? yes shit happens but live with it... stop being a puss and stand up like a man...how can this end in tears when u have absolutely NO fracking idea what happened before~? sis has changed soo soo much...and is still waiting despite all the harsh words...i seriously admire that...sis dun ever revert back...pls

so anyway tried loads of things to try to get sis mind away and tried scolding...comforting...advising... but somehow sis is so blardy stubborn...=.= oh well i am stubborn too so yeah like sis like bro hor~? =.=

went to have breakfast at macs ...emoed...and then we went home...strange that mum and dad didnt say anytthing abt us being out late...=P

sunday
cldnt sleep...was thinking...decided to dota
slept at arnd 9 plus and woke up till like 5 plus pm~ lol
damn hungry ... ravaged the house and starved till dinner
watched watwasit... cant rmb... think was tombraider... now watching matrix... super old sia...


i guess i have to do this...u asked wat i was thinking and i promised to tell...u can dun read but i feel like i owe u...
but please let me know wat u are thinking after this...

we have known each other for quite some time by now...arnd august i think? way before eoy i am sure...

i think i told u before... that i liked you haha that was like a looooong time ago sia...

when u were still being siao and HAHA u can say i was more innocent and impressionable the good old days hor~? XDD

many things happened before tt... i had my first break and we started hanging out...

u and i werent very close but like to many guys u left an impression
haha but i didnt like the way u were flirting and making use of ppl
so i didnt really care much and thot instead of trying to help u change for the better...for both selfish reasons and cos i was bored~?
lol i alwyas thot u cld be better if i was not wrong...
u rejected me once... outside the arcade... and it wasnt a direct rejection cos i didnt really ask u also...
baby would know... i think... cos i told her... haha i think i teared/cried~? HAHAH silly me hor~? i know... i was just so young and always have confidence issues and believe myself to be much less than others... probably i am still like tt~ XDD

i even rmbed i was disappointed when u were with an irritating fly...
then after some time we still got hang out but lesser and lesser... cos i told myself to avoid and numb myself i was successful of cos~
and for some time we even lost contact do u rmb~? maybe not...

so anyway...i thot i had gotten over things and decided to contact u one day...
one thing led to another and i am glad to say that u are one of the closest friends i have...haha i not sure if it is the same for u...
yet be it fate or foolishness, the same feelings have came back to plague me... yet now i am more experienced in dealing with them...
no more do i need to isolate myself...i cld isolate my feelings yet sometimes it is hard to prevent a leak...
too many a times i felt that i was leaking too much unnecessary feelings that u will sooner or later find out...
hahah i dun even know if u do... but i always suspected...

reason why i didnt say anything abt my feelings is cos i value ur happiness and our frienship...
which is why i dun try to break up r/s even if there is nothing but a glimmer of hope left for a couple...
its like my code of conduct... LOL super lame right~?
hahaha but yes... i do like u... but for the sake of our fs, ur happiness, ur r/s and the fear of rejection i had to shut my mouth and my heart be it being selfless or dumb or fearful...

i still hope that u guys get back happily tgt...
i wasnt lying...
hahah besides wat i wrote doesnt matter to u right...
so many ppl told u the same things before anyway... d*****, t*** and who knows who else~=x

haha but if u did read all this... do let me know... even if we cant be friends no more...dun leave me in the dark and at least tell me that it was cos of wat i said that made u uncomfortable or smth~ lol~ haiz ~ WOW i did it... its finally done...that took like alot of bravery sia~!! LOL

doodles~

hurmz~the more i look my blog the more i think ... that its blardy plain~ =.=

well... there are plans to upgrade from the standard template but arghz lazy larhx~ so wth~ ^^

oh yeah~ today... a levels results came out...

BUT BUT BUT before that~!! WE WON CHEER CHAMPIONSHIPS~!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHH~XDD

despite all the bitching the hardcore ass-ery and the prejudice WE MADE IT AS A SQUAD~!!

k now anticlimax abit~ =x a levels... sianz~ i didnt do well... but hey... its just 1 subject right~? just need to work hard for the other topics lorhx~ =.= haiz~ a levels... wat a shitty way to judge a person's potential...but there are no other methods...so...we are stuck with shit lorhx...=.= my friends...most of them scored worst than i/ them anticipated...so blardy screwed up...they cried... i sat there... trying to comfort...being a fool...

lol~ even one of my teachers was confused as to why i was so worried over my friends results even when mine is not anywhere~ =.=
haha dunno also lehx... maybe cos i am loyal to friends i treasure~?

haiz recently i have been thinking... is it right for me to be holding on to a glimpse of light that seems to flicker and moving away from me~? should i just extinguish that flame in my heart and move on~? or should i try to get closer to get warm? would i get burned before i even feel warmth~? nvm... i shall try not to think abt it...i always only end up thinking too much and harming myself...=.= i shall just numb myself...

prayers

its the time of revelations...
heck so many things happened that i dun know where to start...

theres the common test that affects all the advanced cases (including me)

then theres the "a" levels results that affects all my dear friends and me...=.=

and there is the cheer practises that i swear have something against me...

but hey~ i am alive aint i~? and i am thankful.

my life for the past few days have been mostly of selflessness... hell i can accomodate but blardy hell dun think i dun have a limit... geez...so many things... so many ppl... so many instances...

this week has really been crap and i am blardy hell worried for my family and myself: my class, my frens, my brothers, my sisters, my comrades...my familia

prayer: o' mighty being, give me the strength to hold my friends up high, even though they might fall, give me the words to comfort them even though they might cry. give me the power to be there for them as we stand together for each other, supporting and pushing each other up, willing to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of each other...lastly grant us ur blessings so we may walk down the desired route that we dream of and yet remain with that bond...